3 men in a Prison.
a rapist, a psycho & a gay.
Rapist: if I find a Cat here, i'll fuck it hard till it dies.
Psycho: And once its dead, i'll fuck it till I die.
Gay, standing in d corner softly says:
Meoowwwww....
******************************************************************************
GuEST - BETA NAAM KYA HAI APKA ?
BOY- TITU !

GUEST- YE TO GHAR KA NAAM
HAI.....
VO BATAO JO SCHOOL ME
BULATE HAI TUMHE ?
BOY- O TITU BEHAN KE LODE......! 
******************************************************************************

Aurat hakim se: Mujhe doodh nahi aata
Hakim: Hum har chiz choos ke check krte hai.
Aurat: Theek hai,
pehle abba jan ko check ker lo unko 2 din se peshab nahi aaya 

******************************************************************************

LIC Agent: Sardar ji, aap policy le lo.
Aapke bachcho ko paise milenge.
Sardar: agar bachche na ho to?
Agent: aapki biwi ko milenge.
Sardar: agar biwi na ho to?
Agent: Maa Baap ko milenge.
Sardar: agar wo bi na ho.?
Agent: Fir bahen, bhayio ko milenge.
Sardar: Koi aisa tariqa batao k paise mujhe mile.?
Agent: nhi Aap nahi le sakte.
Sardar: LO benchod ye to policy na huyi,
'MERI gaand' ho gyi, jo har koi le sakta hai,
Sirf mai hi nahi le sakta..!! 

**************************************************************************************
CONDOM salesman:
Condom chahiye kya???

Marwadi: kam bhav ka khushbudar rahega to de.

Salesman:
Laude pe agarbatthi ka plastic lagake chod Bhosdike
**************************************************************************************


Boy: tumne aaj kis colours ke underwear pehne hai?

Girl: tumko bus yehi sab baate karni hoti hai

Boy: okay, ye bataao, how should RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?

Girl: er... um... aaj maine cream colour ki pushup bra pehni hai, aur pink colour ki lace panties 

Sardar apni biwi se :1 Glass Doodh Dena.
Biwi : 'Bra' Upar Kar Ke Boli
Muh Laga Kar Pee Lo.
Sardar : Kamini,
Teri Isi Harkat Ke Karan
Me Pani Nahi Mangta
******************************************************************************************* 

Pappu-Papa,aaj se school me,
ek period sex education ka bhi shuru ho gaya hai.
Papa-Very good lekin lulli kyun hila rahe ho?
Pappu-Home work mila hai;) 
******************************************************************************************* 

Ek tapori ICICI bank me gaya:
Bhenchod mere ko A/C kholna hai.
Lady: tamiz se baat kijiye.
Man: Tmaniz kee maa kee chut Account kon kholega vo bata.
Lady: manager ko complaint karne gai.
Managr:Q batamizi kar rahe ho.
Man:Batamizi kee ma ka bhosda bhadve,
Meri 100 crore kee lotry lagi hai,
Battao account kon kholega.
Manager:arrey sir aap bhi kaha is Randi se baat kar raheho, Mai yaha kya maa chudwane baitha hun...plz come sir.

March Closing Hai.
Moral:Targets are Targets.

******************************************************************************************* 

 

A guy in a hurry used the ladies 'toilet in a posh hotel'.. He sat down and noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much! He then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, He pressed PP & a POWDER PUFF to make him smell fresh. Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR. He later woke up in a hospital. A nurse smiled & said to him, Sir, APR means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.
When the machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went for your balls.
Your balls are in the jar
*************************************************************************************************************************

Shohar to biwi : Aao tmhari battery charge kar don?
Biwi: Raat ko to ki thi.
Shohar: Phir kar deta hon
Biwi: Nahi janu is tarha to battery jaldi phool jayegi.?

************************************************************************************************************************
Agar Ho Marzi Se Sex To Paap Nahi Hota,
Agar Ho Kunwari Se Sex To Uska Jawab Nahi Hota,
Par Dost Bina Condom Ke Kabhi Mat Chodna,
Kyunki Khade Lund Ka Dimag Nahi Hota.
**********************************************************************************************************************

Teacher: Bachchon batao LOVE
Kyun acchha hai WAR se ?
Saare students ek saath bole: kyunki
condom saste milte hain talwar se 
**********************************************************************************************************************

Santa-Koi Aisi Gali Bana Jo Kissi Ne Suni Na Ho
Banta-Duniya K Saare LUnd 1 Jhopde Mein
Santa-Wah
Santa-Aur Woh Jhopda Teri wife K Bh00sde Mein..

**********************************************************************************************************************

 

Pakistan cricketers who dont know English

Pakistan cricketers who dont know English,
prepare answers, after match for media asking...

One day after a match with Shoaib malik...

Media :"So Malik, thats fantastic, your wife sania is pregnant."

Malik:"Ya all credit goes to my team. Everyone worked hard for it, specially Afridi.
It was a tight situation when he went in. His performance was really fantastic with Razak in the middle. Also the crowd gathered to watch his work, our coach also have enjoyed it, they work hard day&night all credit goes to my coach & my teammates & special thanks to sania who supported me 4 this job "

Media speechless 

Define 'Chutiya ' 

Chutiya is someone who? visits ice cream parlour instead of chemist when his girlfriend says
"I love chocolate flavour"..? 
********************************************************************************************************************
?? Girl to Boyfriend:
Tum Boys Jab susu karte ho to Uske Baad Apna Woh Q Hilate ho?

BF: Hum Usko Ye Yaad Dilate H Ki- Jaag laude,Tere Jeevan Ka Uddesh Sirf Mutna Nahi Hai ?. ... 

********************************************************************************************************************

3 Larkiya Class Me Batain Kar Rahi Thi..
Sanam: Me Ne Sir Ki Table Par CondOm Dekha..:-)
Benish: Me Ne Os Me Soraakh Kar Diya Tha..:-D
SIDRA: Marva Diya Kutttiii?.:-@ 

********************************************************************************************************************

Boy-Roop tera ankho ko bha gaya

Boy-Roop tera ankho ko bha gaya
tere Husn ka nasha dil pe cha gaya
.
Girl -
teri tarif me kya kahu KAMEENE
tere isi pyar k karan mera 30 ka BRA
36 tak aa gya.?